Adventures in Babysitting!

Hey buddy, how do you feel about me babysitting you all day on Saturday?

      Well too bad kiddo. I actually don't like it being called "babysitting." My coworkers kept asking me if I was ready to "babysit" when my wife went back to work part-time.  I am the father, therefore I am PARENTING, not babysitting.  Anyway, on Saturday my wife went off to work leaving her two favorite guys at home to fend for themselves. It was an adventure filled with video games, spit-up, toilet-trained cats, more spit-up, jedi's, and a whole lotta gross diapers. Let me explain.

Friday Evening

8:30pm - Put baby down for the night.  It's been a long week so we go to bed as well. Thank you benadryl.  You make sleeping fun again.

Saturday

7:30am - Wake up feeling drugged. Stupid benadryl.

8am - Baby is fed and played with. Ready for nap #1. Time to clock in some well-deserved video game playing.

8:30am - Baby screaming. Seriously?

8:45am - Baby is fed. 

9am - There is a loud noise coming from the bathroom. I put the baby down and as I get closer to the bathroom, the toilet suddenly flushes. I immediately grab a knife from the drawer ready to attack at a moments notice, when my cat proudly struts out of the bathroom.  I stare dumbfounded at him as he struts right by me towards the couch for his umpteenth nap of the day. I still don't know how to process what happened.

9-9:30am - Play time! Or as I call it, spit up/change clothes yet again time. The kid spits up more than a geyser. Also, I had to google the words to the patty cake song. 

9:45am - Nap #2.  More video games!

11am - Wake up/food time.

11:30am-12:20pm  - More play time. I am getting tired.

12:20pm - Nap #3.  I need nap #1.

1:45pm - Awake/alert time.  I forgot the words to the stupid cake song again.  I improvise by adding in a few "la la's" and some "do do's." I don't think he noticed.

2:10pm - Food time once again.  I made the mistake of getting close to his face to give him a kiss. He decided to sneeze breast milk right in my face.


2:11pm - I wash my face and rinse my mouth out with Listerine...Twice.  

2:30pm - Time for some good ol' fashioned edumacation. I sit him down and teach him the awesomeness of Star Wars.

Like Han, he also has a wookie that owes him a life-debt. 

3pm - Nap #4. This is also when I cleaned the kitchen so it doesn't look like I played video games all day.


3:05pm - More video games!


4pm - Awake and ready to eat yet again. Honestly, this is getting a little old.


5:30pm - Bath time. I realize I need one as well.

5:50pm - Nap #5. I am counting down the seconds until my wife comes home.


6pm - Wife is home!!!  Now where is my dinner?