It's Official...We Have a Ginger.

     I secretly think my wife married me for the sole fact that she might one day have a red-haired baby.  Well, she got her wish.  I, on the other hand, was secretly hoping NOT to have one.  See, I have red hair.  It has darkened some throughout the years, but for most of my life it was bright red, as evidenced by these disgustingly cute pictures of myself.

Even at a young age I was stylish. 

   

I'm sexy and I know it.

     

     Sure, being a ginger child was fun for awhile.  Growing up, my brother and I were the talk of the town. The bees knees. The belle of the ball.  Adults would constantly fawn over how cute we were.    

This is the two of us reading the encyclopedia. Ignore the cover of the book.

     But then something happened.  As I grew older, my fellow peers started to recognize that I was different, and let me tell you, that is NEVER a good thing.  I started getting teased, being called names such as Carrot Top, Big Red, Freddy Krueger, Raggedy Andy,  Ginger, and other not so appropriate names that I will not share with you on this family-oriented blog. 

     Think I am making this up?  Look no further to what urban dictionary has to say about my red-headed brethren: 

A human, characterized by pale skin, freckles and bright red hair. "Gingers" are generally considered to be inferior to their more melanin-rich members, and thus deservingly discriminated against. Gingers are thought to have no souls. The condition, "gingervitis" is genetic and incurable.

     Need more proof of our discrimination? Here are just a FEW pictures I found on the web. 

 

     I was also unaware of these interesting "facts" I found about my kind:

Facts:

1) What is Gingervitis?

Gingervitis is a serious hereditary disease caused by a recessive gene. It can lay dormant for years and two perfectly healthy parents can have Ginger Babies. Gingervitis affects millions of people worldwide. The symptoms of gingervitis include: Red hair, pale skin, and freckles, a “Soulless” feeling. Some Ginger Kids may show symptoms such as violence and depression. Although Gingervitis is not a life threatening disease it can be very serious. There is currently no known cure and very little treatment for Gingervitis.

2) Is Gingervitis contagious?

No, Ginger Kids are born with Gingervitis. It is hereditary and cannot be contracted in any other way.

3) Do Ginger Kids have Souls?

Unfortunately no, Ginger Kids are born without souls. A common misconception is that you need a soul to survive. This is completely false. Ginger Kids are people just like everyone else, even if they don’t have souls. Many Ginger Kids live happy, healthy, productive lives devoid of any sort of soul.

4) If a Ginger Kid bites me what should I do?

If you have been bitten by a Ginger Kid immediately wash the wound with soap and water. If you have alcohol or peroxide apply it to the wound.

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     So, as you can see, my son will be fighting an uphill battle for most of his life.  I feel bad for him.  I really do.  I pray that the future will be a more ginger-tolerant world, but I fear it is only getting worse.  I don't know the solution. Maybe we should all come together and destroy all you ginger-less abominations.   How would you like them red apples?

  Gingers UNITE!