Hullllllooooooooo baby. I thought I would take this moment and introduce you to my wacky in-laws. Due to security purposes, I have omitted their real names and given them better ones through a random codename generator I discovered on the internet. God bless you interweb.
This is Aunt #1. Codename: Rainbow Cold Knife
-She is uber-smart and she loves to read, but don’t ask her anything regarding pop culture. I mean, she hardly checks her facebook account. Get with the times Rainbow Cold Knife!
This is Aunt #2. Codename: Subtle Dinosaur
-She LOVES the Chicago Cubs, which may be her greatest strength...or greatest weakness.
This is Aunt #3. Codename: Wooden Waffle
-She says the word “button” like “but-ton,” but she makes up for that by telling really cheesy jokes.
This is your Uncle. Codename: White Longitude
-Do not believe anything he says…ever!
This is your Grandmother. Codename: Oma
-Not many grandmothers will fire a semi-automatic assault rifle, so rest assured she’s cool.
This is your Grandfather. Codename: Opa
-He is intimidating, but once you get to know him… well, he is still very much intimidating.
And here are a few pictures of your parents training for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. We take our parenting very seriously.
Here is your mother lulling you to sleep with the sweet sound of gunfire.
Eat lead zombie White Longitude!!!
It’s a good thing my family does not read this blog. Oh wait…
